My week started with a complete crash and boom and the week had not even started….

Rewind back to Sunday my son is 14 has attitude to boot thinks I’m some bloody millionaire and has no idea how quickly I get tired and sadley I can’t do everything he wants to do. We watched the funeral of Prince Phillip while his sister was at work, and here in New Zealand we on school holidays.

My son is like a volcano in stages before it erupts just picture this:

• Level 1-tremours start, the snarky remarks stage
• Level 2-little gas explosions,the whiny starts,poor me,shit life
• Level 3-steam is rising,combination of snarky and whiny
• Level 4-ash fallout, this where mum about to pull out can of whoop ass
• Level 5-lava spewing out,oh shits it erupting,this where heated words exchange,your grounded

I honestly thought my girls were aweful as teens but my son is a sensitive wee sausage and gets mad over stupid crap,take look at the video and just laugh in agony of parents with teens, they should come with warning labels and a bloody manual !!!

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Rambling again but thanks to my son and his sudden eruption caused my stress levels to rise like a boiling jug he put me in the biggest bitchest mood, as I packed my shit to come home and in amoungst the bullshit I left my charger,medication,glasses at my daughter’s, god I was like f5 tornado when I got home, threw my crap out my bag, had a hissy fit, partner is trying to sleep and as he didn’t really acknowledge me I was home so I threw my toys out the cot and slept on the lazy boy. Ill be the first to admit my tantys make everyone laugh as my wee family knows it’s part of everything I’m going thru and I don’t deal well with stress and the best thing I can do now is look back and laugh, my son and I laugh about it and learn from it and move on from it.

“I never realized how much my illness and chronic pain had effect on my children”

My eldest always been a free spirit and had her way of doing things so she been living her life and now a mum and has her own family,she has never really seen or experienced what her siblings have when it comes to me been sick, where my other daughter has been through it all with me and we just formed such a different relationship as she had to deal with been austic,her own health issues and worrying and looking after me and I vowed I never hold back my children, where my son we had a close relationship as his dad has never been in his life so he’s only had me so when I got sick he just couldn’t understand and just got angry and one stage he was heading down a crappy path as I been with my best friend of 5 years the decision was made he was going to stay with him, new school and the dad figure he so much needs, the hardest decision to make but I look back now and he is thriving, his report was outstanding and our bond is stronger than ever even with the volcanic eruptions.

Now it’s my daughters turn to spread her wings and gain her independence and stop worrying about me she’s 18 studying and learning how to pay bills, she is slowly starting to live on her own and we are slowing separating in a good way.

As I look back on my crappy start to the week it’s also shown me how far my kids have come and resilient we all are they never chose to have a sick mum but with that said we grown so stronger and our bond is unbreakable no matter what life throws at us.

It’s now my turn to look after me and let my older children be free and allow my son to grow I don’t need to worry now, it’s my time to transform and get to a managed point to allow more good days with my children and most of all my grandson.