Every now then I get reminder and good talking to and it always leads me to reflecting, frustration, over it, angry and just dam right annoyed.

I’m reminded to slow down I’m chronically ill and my body just can’t do what it use to and it’s a clear reminder of how my body works and that everything I do will set my body off and give me shitty days as my fatigue levels drop or I have a crash and then I have no choice to rest or I get sick, pain levels heighten.

I’m also reminded that this head crap I’m dealing with it was caused by someone else and the injury has just messed up my life and givin me more limitations.

I’m also reminded that no matter hard shit gets that I some how find a postitive and the strength to get through another day, I got this.

I’m also reminded to appreciate life and the simple things because life can change so quickly one minute your healthy and cruising life then the next minute your sick, injured, illness, disease and the life you knew has gone.

I’m also reminded that through my own struggles and experiences I have created Nirvana life coaching a place a community of people of all walks of life can find some inspiration, be educated, a place to raise awareness and help others live there best life.

I’m also reminded that life can be lonely friendships are bit harder, social life becomes non existent, family don’t quite understand and you got to get use to your own company pretty fast and it’s ok to mourn your old life.

I’m also reminded to never let my illness or injury define me as a person and take away my sense of humor, bubbly personality and never allow myself to be bitter. My hair always has colour in it brighten up my day through the dark days and it’s ok to be little quirky and weird.

Crazy blue hair 💙

I leave you with this thought and I just want you to think, feel free to share your answer or thoughts, I love to hear them.

If you were you to wake up tomorrow and you become sick and it’s the type of sick that will change your life, the way you see life, the things you do in life it will literally make you stop and rethink life. Right now in your life answer these questions ?

  • Have I achieved my life goals ?
  • Are you happy with your life ?
  • Are you happy with your career ?
  • Your current relationship are you happy ?
  • Could you improve in areas of life ?
  • Have you got a dream, goal or something you want to do in life ?

Don’t wait till it’s to late, not saying you cant have a great life been sick etc I know first hand it comes with limitations and can change your life.

“Mumma bears reflection”

Part one

Who would of thought I would of got thru this last 18 months, I feel like I have been on a roller coaster and the dam thing broke and its just been on a continuous loop, the ups, downs,bumps explains my last 17 months

My mental health honestly has been crap and been testing me on all levels. I have had days where the thoughts of just giving up, fatigue, mind racing, sleepness nights, can’t eat 😢 absolutely brutal. I had lost my identity, confidence, strength I had nothing more to give let alone the constant fear and walking on egg shells, the feeling of been lost, trying to hold on to something that was essentially killing me inside and creating his ideal world.

I remember the day as clear as day the day that changed my life and everything I thought was ok was not. Early Saturday morning all hell broke loose and before I know it I’m cornered and the monster is looking at me and boom two punches to the face, something no child should ever see and knowing my son was on the ph to police it was at that point I new it was time to walk away for good.

What was about to come was going to be the biggest challenge I ever had to face, life was about to get turned upside down and shaken about I had to re learn, hard truths and get some much needed help and make the hardest decision of actually charging him.

Stay tuned for part two

It has arrived

Long process and one that I’m pretty proud of, Nirvana life coaching has its first monthly magazine.

The way of Nirvana magazine is unique and a reflection of my own personal struggles and most of my passion to help others.Every month there be some good reads,new recipes to try, self learning and let’s rediscover you.

Check out the shop

Monday is the last day for the discount, then it be $25.00.

Challange for week 1

Mental Wellness Challange

I challange you to bake or cook something this week

These three ingredients must be used carrots, eggs, bacon and if by chance you have allergy to these dont use them swap it something else.

Take a photo of and post it here or email it to me.

I love for everyone to participate and ill be checking in through the week see your lovley cooking or baking.

You have till next tuesday…..

The Devil is stirring

The Devil (illness) inside me is stirring at the moment, hes testing my patience and my strength.

I had Freddy visit me and he was not nice at all creating havoc along the way and now the Devil is stirring within inside of me, its like they playing tag at the moment.

What is an auto immune disease ??


At the moment my immune system has gone to war on my body and built up bacteria within my body, my body thinks it has the flu, it feels like I’m carrying a bag of bricks and the feeling of wiped out. No matter how much i managed it or if i have a good day I’m still battling with the devil everyday, he hides in the shadows just plotting and waiting.

Armed with some antibiotics and rest when i can im hoping i come right or its bloods to see what is going on, as the Dr puts it I’m complex with a lot of different illness and i can go down pretty quick.

“Meet Pablo”

Meet Pablo, he’s my best friend and makes my bad days a little less lonley.

I never realized there is such thing as an emotional support cat I can understand the benefits and why cats and other animals are used to help us humans out.

There are so many benefits to having an emotional support cat like:

  • Companionship helps with those lonley days.
  • Reducing pain.
  • Reducing stress.
  • Lowers aniexty.
  • Sense of calm and been relaxed.
  • Helps with mental health like depression.

Adventures of Pablo aka demon mittens, he’s fussy as hell, everything is on her terms, has a foot fetish, attacks hands and has a pretty cool personality. He knows when I’m not well and he seems to know when I just need some snuggles with me.

What animal or animals do you have ? Share a photo 📸 📷

“Homegrown 2023”

New Zealand lacks big music events where are other countries have massive music events.

Homegrown is in Wellington, it showcases New Zealand music artists over 5 stages with various genres, held at the Wellington water front.

Left home at 6am this morning, still about couple hours of driving, it’s things like this I look forward to. I’ll update with photos 😉

Self Worth

Self worth is so important its about seeing yourself as valued and someone who matters. Self worth contributes to better relationships, your career, work, health and your emotional well being.

“I am the measurer of my worth, And i say i am worthy”

Recongnising how unique and special you are as a person is the first step then you continue to build your self worth. Having a strong self worth helps in different areas of your life, believing that you are worth of good things that has flow on effect with healthy relationships and asking more of what you want in life.

Augustine Quote

People go all around the world to see all these amazing things but they dont look at themselves. We are all uniquie – we’ve never been made before. It may be a bit of a paradigim shift to think of ourselves like this. Just sitting here as human being, how amazing we are with all our functions of our human body.

We are incredible masterpeice

Think of you carrying a bag and its filled with lots of postitive things to help and grow your self worth, everyday you add to your bag:

  • Self care doing- doing things for you, things that make you happy and you enjoy
  • Find a purpose in your life
  • Seeing others differently
  • love and celebrate yourself
  • Becoming self aware
  • Putting boundaries in your life
  • Appreciate what you have
  • Find ways to learn that allow growth within your self
  • Been more grateful

Life can get crazy and things happen and sometimes we start doubting our selves and put barriers up that stop us from doing amazing things for our selves.

  • Time – there never enough time
  • Balance – Work and life and balancing it
  • Selfish – You feel bad for going and having that coffee
  • Self sabbotage –  Negative feelings and talk
  • Lack of motivation
  • Overthinking

Its important to look after you and do things you enjoy this will help your overall wellbeing. Have a moment to think about things that you enjoy and things that look after you as a whole.

My feel good things and looking after me is making sure it take my medications, i rest when i can , daily yoga, been at the beach is great for clarity and reflecting, been with my family and music.


10 ways to live a happy life

We all want to have a happy life, but with the pressures of life, work, family, career etc it can be quite easy to get caught up in the busy and get stuck in a funk.

This is my list of ten things that make my life happy and some what balanced.

  • Eat right and having a well balanced diet.
  • Sleep and rest is so important, making a routine for bedtime, allowing time to just rest .
  • Been around positive people and setting boundaries this will protect your energy and yourself from been hurt.
  • Take a break from social media and been aware of how much you see or read in the media, minimize how much you are looking at.
  • Exercise something simple to get the body moving, it helps relive stress.
  • Practice gratitude, acknowledge one thing your grateful for.
  • Journal writing, writing about the good things, reflecting on things, any thoughts you might have.
  • Plan your week, use a diary and write the things that need to be done like appointments.
  • Take in your surroundings, get out into nature, go to the beach, river, bush walks.
  • Try meditation or yoga, keep it simple don’t over complicate it. It can be as simple as sitting for 5 mins quietly.

Write down ten things that makes your life happy ??

“Dear daughter”

Happy 22nd birthday beautiful lady, I hope you have amazing day.

Been about month since my daughter stop talking to me and this is not the first time this has happened but this time it hurts a little different this time things are very different now. Let me start from the beginning how becoming a mum was never straight forward for me and how my first born has always been a tug of War.

Scared, anxious and completely freaking out when I found out I was going to become a mum I didn’t enjoy the pregnancy as I was quite sick and the father well that’s whole different story. And I was raised in dysfunction and had many parents and went through alot as a child, a few traumatic events and the worst thing is I didn’t have that mum to look up to I took on my closet friends mums instead and learnt through them so becoming a mum was like trying to figure it out as I went along.

Becoming a mum was nothing like the movies and I was struggling, I had a partner that was not committed, helped when it suited him. She was a terrible sleeper and with the birth not been a great experience we lacked the bonding phase. Regardless of the hurdles, the constant pressure, trying to build a family with only that idea that’s in your mind what you want or see as a family.

She had the most amazing blue eyes, blonde curls, with a free spirited attitude and the dislike of been told what to do, my daughter was packed with sass and attitude, she learnt quick and grew up just as fast. Unfortunately things took a turn for the worst and instead of been a mum I was been picked apart from agencies, my family and the dad was becoming toxic and rather suffocating and becoming a mum became my own personal battle.

My eldest became a big sister as much as she loved been a sister and having someone else to teach and grow together instead there was jealousy and alot of dysfunction happening, the image I had was gone as the days passed I became the mum that was single, diagnosed with endometriosis and was in the fight of my life to prove I was a good mum, as the years passed the days were dark I never thought I would survive let alone have my girls back home with me, spent 7 years fighting the system, girls dad, my family it was like living in hell with no escape. Blessed with a son 💙 I vowed I never make the same mistakes.

As I look back at the many challenges and how my eldest daughter and I continue to struggle with our relationship at times very strained. The constant learning I do I realize that certain behaviors are not ok and as much as love her I need her to take some much needed time to accept her responsibilities, take accountability and get some much needed help and break the cycle of dysfunction.

Dear daughter……

I’m writing you this letter as a mum and your friend. Your the one who made me mum. You were beautiful and packed with attitude, you were never really the cuddly baby more free spirited and thought and did things way more older then you were. I know life has not been easy and I take my responsibility in those things, hurdles, challenges that caused dysfunction in life. At 22 years of age and been a mum your self and he is one lucky boy to have you as mum you have a lot of growing and healing to do ensure you don’t give him dysfunction, with you realizing it you are doing just that. Your behaviors will have a negative effect on your boy and using him like you do and constantly taken him away from me and other family members when we don’t conform is wrong, it also is wrong to play games with peoples emotions, it’s also wrong to use people for your own benefits, it’s also wrong to use your parents against each other. I understand your not had it easy but with out realizing it you were spolit child, never really missed out on things and as mum I never stopped fighting to get her home. I know you have caring side, I know you will help people when needed, I know you can be anything you want if you put your mind to it. I will aways have a place for you in my heart, the door is open and no matter what I will always be mum. It was time for me to put boundaries in my life and so no more to the ugly behavior that not only effects me, your siblings and many other people around you. Hope one day soon you will stop listening to your dad and making the wrong choices, instead be that little girl I remember the one who had dreams, the free spirit and would stand up for what she wanted. Love mum ❤

“Making memories”



We already into the second month of the year and here in New Zealand the school has term has started and we had few public holidays so the weeks have felt short and i feel so behind.

Went on road trip and caught up with friends, my youngest daughter (20) and went on adventure in the capital of New Zealand Wellington the weekend was awesome i have spent all week recovering from it but it was all worth it and its these moments that i treasure and take lots of photos its a great way to help me puch me through the hard days.

Wellington is windy and rather hilly so was the zoo worth every little niggle for an amazing day out i dont see my daughter as much as she living her life and lives about three hours away its moments like this that are precious to me.

Wellington Zoo

Wellington City

Holidays are for relaxing and enjoying the moment and some much needed time to switch off, enjoy the surroundings, the bonding time and the experience.

“Pablo the kitty”

Pablo is a bit crazy, loves munching on toes, cuddly on his terms he’s my support cat. Makes the lonley days that little bit better.

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