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Session one-understanding domestic violence

Took another big step today on my journey of healing and having a better understanding of domestic violence and working through it all.

I vowed I was done with abuse and been treated a particular way and with that comes attending living without violence program and having much needed support. Because with out I may slip back into old habits and I want to make the right choices from this point forward.

My triggers and emotions were high tonight, just listening and watching a video it really made me think about things and the disconnect I’m having with my son tonight and it’s very clear that I can’t fix him and I need to heal.

What I took away from tonight is a model that’s used called The Whare Tapa Wha if you think of a house it has walls, roof and a floor/ground, we look at ourselves as Wharenui/house. The ground represents Whenua, the walls represent Whanau and Tinana the roof represents Wairua and Hinengaro. At any point these weakened your Whare/house is comprised and your wellbeing.

Te Whare Tapa Wha
Broken down

Learnt the person who is doing the abuse has a cycle, the cycle of violence, abuse and control.

  • Trigger situation
  • Tension rising
  • Escalating abuse
  • Physical violence
  • Regrets phase
  • Hide the problem

Power and control wheel

Hard facts

This was my message i received tonight and it resonated with me and very fitting.

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