“The Monster”

Avoiding the fact may has rolled around this is month I didn’t think I say I done a year of bloody hard work and the sheer strength I have found.

I’m trapped and drowning and I just can’t seem to escape and when I thought I had I was pulled back, over time you become trapped in the monsters cage and every day that passes you loose a bit of your self and your mind starts to change that this is all I’m over going to get it’s fine I don’t live with the monster Ill be fine he lurks in the dark and just eating away at parts of you with out you realize it your to far in and your world becomes lonley and dark your holding onto that last bit of light and hope.

The words he used cut deep, the way he would use his words was nasty.

I think your hungry you should go eat something, no one wants you, your lazy, I call cyps on you,your fat,no wonder your marriage failed, your ex’s right about, your kids are retards the list is endless and the comments were endless.

I became homeless, I lived in hotel, I slept in a car with my kids to protect them from the monster he can hurt me all he likes but not my kids.

My belongings were smashed or broken by the monster so at times i was having to restart.

I finally got a house might not be flash but we could breath and starting living, the monster was lurking and watching and keeping his hold on me but at least I had safe place.

Been watched, run off the road, there were times he would drive dangerously, there were times he would just flip out and rage, his anger was something you didn’t want to see and tried hard to avoid a rage.

This monster thought he was a cleaver and had every part of me controlled he thought it was funny seeing me cry and having panic attacks and playing mind games with me. This monster had pushed me to my limits I was fighting 8 illness and chronic pain every blow he would would destroy me and make more sicker, my closest friends thought I would not see 2022 I was so broken and sick.

May 2021 was the day I took my power back and told that monster I am done I deserve better than this.

The monster had me he took to punches to my face and I have never seen something so angry, his eyes were black. It took till this to realize I need to get out now.

My first step on my new journey was to get actually help this time, I won’t forget those words domestic violence, battered women syndrome and you have PTSD your triggers are real and I’ll be ok.

In one year I have been on my journey and I’m not that women anymore and I have learnt to love me, have self respect,no how I should be treated, been kind to my self, I have more confidence and I’m smiling more with less tears. The huge thing that has grown in a year is my identity and who I am, my journey not over nor is healing.

My last words are he does not need to hit you for it to be domestic violence.

Heres a bit of information on domestic violence.

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