"Sharing my story is endless healing"

I have had two major changes in my life both events have brought out every emotion and i had to find my inner strength to get though them.

The first major change was in 2017 when i basically went from a normal person, living life and starting to get some where in life, finished my studies with a Diploma of hospitality managerment and event planning was where i was heading, new opportunites for me. I basically started getting unwell and i was always in pain and i knew something was not quite right and didnt seem to match my endometrious or thyroid issues, typical me just pushed through and thought it would pass. I went from been able to eat to just constant waves of nausea, not intrested in food, my stomach was just not happy, then i was having issues at standing for long periods, my memory and concentration was getting worst, a simple task like vaccuming, having a shower was becoming hard and there were days where i just sleep and basically couldnt get out of bed. This was only the start of constant nightmare for me and relization that my life was about to change and was not for the good, countless doctors appointments, speclists appointments, proceduces and surgery was becoming the new normal for me and was a one diagnose after another and more medications to try. The constant pain and symptoms were resentless and i was exhausted, i had to become my own advocate, i had to start looking at a lifestyle changes and most of all a career change, learning that i couldnt do half of what i use to was becoming my realitly, the days become lonley, been social was taking a toll i literally had to re learn how to manage my life. I learnt the words and feelings of ingorance and lack of understanding and support and the feeling of been a burden was pretty up there at times. I learnt laughter and the need of having a good sense of humor was going to get me through the shitty days no pun intended,embarrassing moments. I also learnt to create memories and experiences these will be something i can look forward but also help me through the crap days. Been chronically ill is not pretty but i had one theory i can either be bitter or angry and not let it define me as a person, find a postitive in everything and think the most coolest thing to come out of this is becoming a life coach and using my own experiences, challanges to help others, i change careers and became a support worker to help others also to help me emotionally, mentally.

The second big change to happen in my life is the realization that i was in domestic violence and took two punches to my face for me to leave and finally get some much needed help and try to navigate through this on top of already going through chronic pain and multi illnessss. I still remember the day and the anger, hate he had and no remorse. I felt like i needed to stay in the area to keep some sense of normal for my son this only ment moving between places and then having no home, the call was made to go back home to the bay this ment leaving the last 4 years the highs and the lows, the hardest thing was leaving my daughter she had made her life down there and was an adult. The last wo years have been one of hell of journey and one the hardest things i had to go through, re learning, taking accountbilty, healing, counsling and learning that what i want through is domestic violence and what i went through was not ok. I had no voice, no fight left in me, i was broken, no confidence or indentity, throwing my self into learning and doing all these amazing courses to better me and my life, venturing into yoga, healing through maori massage {mirimiri], reconnecting with friends, family. In the last two years i have grown within myself and creating the life i want.